Sox clinch playoff spot while piling up ‘L’s

Is it right to celebrate winning the American League Wild Card when your team seems incapable of beating a Little League club?

Better question may be, is it wrong to celebrate your team clinching a playoff spot when said team resembles a Little League club?

The Red Sox and its Nation were faced with this tough question over the last couple of days, as Boston didn’t just back into its sixth postseason berth in the past seven years, it used a back up beeper, rear view camera and flag-waving guides to gain entrance to MLB’s big dance.

After a B-squad of D-listers got clubbed 12-0 by Roy Halladay and the Jays last night at Fenway, the Sox have now lost six straight games, had their top two starting pitchers suffer (minor?) injuries, and have surrendered a mind-boggling 17 home runs in the last six games.

That, my friends, is not just backing in, that’s Serena Williams level backing the ass up.

 But hey, “at least they’re in”, right? No matter that the Yanks and Angels have much stronger teams and have been playing solid baseball down the stretch. As long as you get in, you got a chance to win it all.

Unfortunately, the way Boston is wrapping up this bizarre season, that chance may be the equivalent of Kim Kardassian fitting into a pair of size ‘S’ booty shorts.

Let’s end the regular season already

Football is in full swing, both college and pro. Bruins training cap has already begun, and the Cs will unveil their great Rasheed Wallace experiment a few weeks from now.

But with the Pats surprisingly swooning, the Bs dumping quality players, and the Celts sorting out AARP benefits, Beantown still needs its Sox to provide a boost at this time of year.

Which is why we need this interminable regular season to come to a close and get to the thrill-a-minute postseason already.

The Sox, whose recent hot streak (won 10 of 11, 13-6 in September before last night) had catapulted them to a large Wild Card lead (7 games) and to within striking distance of the top spot in the East, have appeared to be clicking on all cylinders at just the right time – the home stretch of a long season.

And then the wheels fell off the postseason express last night in Kansas City, reminding all of us that 162 game schedule is at least a dozen games too long.

Sox sweep puts final nail in Rays coffin

Mick Jagger once sung “I can’t get no satisfaction…cause I try, and I try, and I try, and I try…”

The 2009 Boston Red Sox obviously didn’t take those lyrics literally, because they kept trying and trying and trying to vanquish the disappointing demons of losing to the Rays in 2008, and Sunday afternoon at Fenway they attained a considerable level of satisfaction.

Boston swept the lifeless Rays right out of the 2009 postseason picture, winning both ends of a doubleheader after earning a rain-shortened victory on Saturday,  and in the process swept some of the bitter memories of 2008 right out the door with them.

The pathetic Rays, who have lost 11 straight games and were outscored 16-2 in this  soggy series, are technically still alive in the Wild Card race. But at 12 1/2 games back with 19 left to play, it would take an act of God to allow them to sniff playoff glory again.

Can I get a “hell yeah!”?

Whiny Rays looking to play spoilers

One year ago at this time, the Rays were in the midst of beating the BoSox like Chris Brown en route to winning the American League title, and in the process becoming the toast of the baseball world.

One year later, as their World Series hangover season winds down in a cloud of horrible losses and lame excuses, they have to settle for trying to rain on Boston’s 2009 post season plans in order to motivate themselves as they play out the string.

Check out these sad comments about what beating the Sox this weekend would mean to members of the Tampa Bay ballclub, most of whom will not be around next season after the Rays conduct a Marlins-esque housecleaning this winter:

“Nothing better than that,” closer J.P. Howell said. “That would feel very good. That would turn something, you don’t want to say ugly, but a little disappointing into kind of disappointing.

“There would be something in there for us. A little piece of pie for us — something sweet.”

Or there’s this beauty. from supposed ace James Shields:

“They’d pretty high (on the list) I would imagine. They’re in our division, and we don’t really want anybody else in our division besides us to go to the playoffs.”

AWWWWW, someone get a fucking hanky for these moping clowns.

And please, let the Sox pummel them into oblivion this weekend.

Beckett bomb keeps Rays playoff hopes alive

Last night, the Red Sox had a chance to put Tampa Bay’s 2009 playoffs plans in serious jeopardy, as a Boston win would have left the Rays seven games out of the Wild Card lead with exactly 30 games left to play.

With ace Josh Beckett on the hill, momentum from the previous night’s satisfying 8-4 win still fresh in their minds, and an apathetic Tropicana Field crowd failing to provide the energetic juice it gave the hometown team last September, a Sox victory looked like a forgone conclusion.

 But despite an absense of clanking cowbells and an abundance of Sox scoring oppportunities, Beckett and the Boston bullpen failed miserably when it came time to put the final nail in the Rays coffin.

Josh continued his recent confounding streak by allowing five runs (four earned) and seven hits (including two more homers) in six innings, and after Boston clawed back to tie the game at five, Ramon Ramirez and Manny Delcarmen handed the game to Tampa Bay when they allowed three runs in the eighth inning of a 8-5 Rays win.

That makes tonight’s rubber match a must win for both teams, and since I’m heading to the game, Boston better take this series, or things could get ugly.

Mission Accomplished: Sox take Game 1

Coming into this all important three game series against the PITA Tampa Bay Rays, all the Red Sox had to do was avoid a sweep and they would keep a solid grasp on their Wild Card lead.

Thanks to a trio of home runs, another solid outing by Jon Lester, and a couple of spectacular catches by Jacoby Ellsbury, the Sox took game 1 by a score of 8-4, and now they can already consider this series a success, even with two games left to play.

J.D. Drew, Jason Bay and Kevin Youkilis all clubbed homers to back the 7 inning, 2 run, 9 K performance of Lester. Ellsbury made not one but two diving, sliding grabs, the second one with the bases loaded in the 8th inning and the Rays threatening to jump back into the game. And Jonathan Papelbon picked a perfect time to get his first six-out save of the season, extricating his team from that bases loaded, no out situation to really earn his 33rd save.

The final two games will now just be window dressing, and it seems like Rays fans already sensed the end was near. A ‘crowd’ of only 17,000+ came out to see their former darlings fight for their playoff lives, and you can be sure that number will continue to shrink as quickly as the teams postseason hopes.

Josh Beckett can really stomp on the remaining fans hearts Wednesday night, and I’ll be there Thursday to put the final knife in the bandwagonners backs.

Enjoy the rest of ‘09, Tampa Bay. You’ll always have the memories of 2008 to look back on.

Upcoming Rays series could make or break season

The Red Sox have finally righted what a few weeks ago looked like a sinking ship. Boston has won 10 of its last 13 games and 14 of 20, and the surge has allowed them to take a semi-comfortable lead in the Wild Card race (4 games over Texas, 5 over Tampa Bay).

But just as the club rounded into postseason form by feasting on weaklings like the Blue Jays and White Sox, here comes their new arch nemesis, the Rays, to possibly put a damper on the playoff parade.

The Rays have basically owned the Sox since the middle of last season, compiling a 6-15 regular season record vs. them since last July, including a putrid 4-8 mark this year. Making matters worse is Boston’s performance in the Teflon Trop: 1-5 this season, 1-10 in the same July ‘08 time frame. UGH.

So while the Rays are giving away players and all but conceding the season even though the team is just a stone’s throw out of the WC lead, Boston is faced with a daunting task as it starts a three game set tonight in St. Pete:

Sweep the series and they basically bury the rascally Rays for good, and we can breath easy for the final month of the season. Lose the series (or worse getswept), and the month of September could be very tense, trying and tumultuous for the Sox and the Nation.

Don’t let us down!

Another day, another roster move for the revolving red Sox

In a season such as this, where injuries and ineffectiveness have hampered a team that was once the favorite to win the American League East but is now hanging on for dear life to a Wild Card berth, you can expect there to be quite a bit of turnaround with the roster.

But not even in the most extreme scenarios did we envision the dizzying amount of transactions and roster moves the Red Sox have made so far this season, especially in the month of August.

Read the rundownof moves and it will likely induce vertigo. Just this month alone, Boston has made 43 moves, ranging from releasing Chris Duncan (who?) to signing Billy Wagner. By comparison, the first place Stankees have made just 14 roster moves this month, including releasing Duncan’s brother, Shelly.

Looks like the brothers Duncan need to find a new line of work.

With offense exploding, Sox sign bullpen backup

A couple of weeks ago Boston was setting modern day records for futility when it came to scoring runs, ripping off a stretch in which it failed to score in 31 consecutive innings and was shutout three times in one week.

Now, suddenly, the runs are flowing like raunchy jokes at a Comedy Central roast.

Coming into tonight’s contest against the White Sox, Boston had scored 99 runs in its last 14 games, or an average of 7.1 RPG. Better still, in the last seven games the Sox have piled up 65 runs, for an astounding average of 9.3 RPG, including single-game totals of 10, 12 and 14 runs.

So with the offense starting to find its stride again, despite a constant shuffling of the lineup that makes one truly need a scorecard to keep track of who’s hitting where and when, Boston’s brass decided to roll the dice on another low-risk acquisition who may or may not be a key cog in a potential playoff run. Or he could be the next Eric Gagme.

Start printing the playoff tickets folks!

Are you ready for some football?! Stanks punt Sox

Clear the weekend calendar, make plans to hang with the family, schedule that vacation in early October and get your football face on, because the 2009 baseball season is effectively over for Red Sox Nation.

Just when you thought the four game broom job New York applied to Boston in the Bronx two weekends ago, which featured one shellacking and two shutouts among the four heartbreaking defeats, was the low point of a rapidly declining season, the Sox came out tonight and proved that when it comes to futility against AL heavyweights, they still have new depths to plunge.

New York hung 20 runs on the staggered Sox tonight at Fenway, and although Boston managed to score a handful of runs in garbage time, make no mistake this game was nowhere near as close as the final 20-11 score would indicate.

The Stanks lead 6-1 after two innings, thanks to another ineffective start from Brad not worth a Penny, and by the time Boston put up back-to-back three run frames in the fifth and sixth innings, New York enjoyed a cozy 15-7 advantage. Five more runs made it 20-7 before Boston tacked on four meaningless runs in the ninth to make the score somewhat respectable.

Well, as respectable as a team that has lost all credibilty as a playoff contender can muster.